Cats, Dogs, and Other Pets - Erma
My
daughter Aurora has been begging for a pony since Halloween so I told her to
write a letter to Santa asking for it. The problem is it's Christmas morning
and I look outside to find a fire-breathing horse whose coat was as black as
charcoal. I opened the door to find a letter on my steps. I pick it up and step
to the side as Aurora comes darting out to go play with the horse.
“Aurora be careful!” I yelled after
her only to look out and see her petting the horse.
I
turn around and start reading the letter. Apparently, she wrote the letter to
Satan instead of Santa. *oh, that explains that* I start reading the actual
letter, it says,
Dear Chloe,
I'm writing to you in regards
to Aurora, did you tell her to write to me asking for a pony? Because I think
it was meant for SANTA, the letters are in a different order, but close enough.
Besides, I actually gave her a pony. The fat guy wouldn't. (also it’s trained
and loves aurora and the box is a care package that comes with a saddle)
Oh, I wanted to let you know I
will be back for 2 years this time! I figured hell could work without me for a
while. Family is more important than all the terrible souls in the entire
underworld.
See you in a week, my love!
From your loving husband
Lucifer
“TWO
YEARS!!!!!” I yelled and then I let out a very high-pitched squeal. I ran to go
grab my cell phone and called my best friend Mazikeen, she NEEDS to meet my
husband! Plus I need her help to build a pen in the backyard for this thing. It’s
probably good that we live on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Otherwise,
people would ask questions.
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